The steam engine. The cotton gin. The phonograph. Telephones, the light bulb, and Beano are all some of the world's greatest inventions. Genius can strike at any time and anyone. That "Eureka" moment can be as simple as being hit in the head by an apple or figuring out a more efficient means of phone sex that doesn't involve understanding Morse code. The following are three inventions which make people wonder, "Why didn't I think of that?"(DON'T) HEAR ME SCREAM
Have you ever wanted to scream your pants off but not want to alert the neighbors to your obvious psychotic episodes? Well Moira and Frank Figone of Belmont, CA, have invented the perfect solution. A face-tube device which allows users to a fix the contraption to their mouths and scream without disturbing others. And all this time I thought my pillow was the best solution. I'm so stupid.
I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND
Ever have that romantic feeling? Your relationship is just starting out. You get goosebumps whenever the object of affection is near, then one day you decide to go for it. You hold their hand and the excitement hits you like a steel-toed boot to the crotch. But what about in cold weather? How on earth can you maintain precious physical contact while strolling down the road on a snowy weekend morning? Each of you wear a pair of gloves and proceed to hold hands? Don't b ridiculous. This is the 21st century. We are no longer incompetent cave men. Enter the courting glove. A pair of gloves knitted together into a single glove. Now you can maintain that contact and still stay warm without looking like a fool.
TWO-FOR-ONE OR HOW EFFICIENCY CAME TO RULE THE WORLD
Are you a farmer? Do you constantly find yourself plowing the fields of barley? Are you constantly under the threat of invading forces or evil businessmen looking to take your land from you? What will you do if you home comes under attack while you are plowing the land? Stop and run for your shot gun in you shed? That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. What do you think will happen during the precious few seconds as you speed back to retrieve that firearm. Well the world could end, that's what, and all because you were to short-sighted to be prepared. Well no need to feel like an ignoramus any longer. Say hello to the combined plow and gun. Continue to plow the fields as you simultaneously fend off intruders and money-grabbing city folk. The most efficient weapon you will ever have in your arsenal.
Ever have that romantic feeling? Your relationship is just starting out. You get goosebumps whenever the object of affection is near, then one day you decide to go for it. You hold their hand and the excitement hits you like a steel-toed boot to the crotch. But what about in cold weather? How on earth can you maintain precious physical contact while strolling down the road on a snowy weekend morning? Each of you wear a pair of gloves and proceed to hold hands? Don't b ridiculous. This is the 21st century. We are no longer incompetent cave men. Enter the courting glove. A pair of gloves knitted together into a single glove. Now you can maintain that contact and still stay warm without looking like a fool.
TWO-FOR-ONE OR HOW EFFICIENCY CAME TO RULE THE WORLD
Are you a farmer? Do you constantly find yourself plowing the fields of barley? Are you constantly under the threat of invading forces or evil businessmen looking to take your land from you? What will you do if you home comes under attack while you are plowing the land? Stop and run for your shot gun in you shed? That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. What do you think will happen during the precious few seconds as you speed back to retrieve that firearm. Well the world could end, that's what, and all because you were to short-sighted to be prepared. Well no need to feel like an ignoramus any longer. Say hello to the combined plow and gun. Continue to plow the fields as you simultaneously fend off intruders and money-grabbing city folk. The most efficient weapon you will ever have in your arsenal.
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