Any awesomely cool guy who grew up reading comic books, buying useless trading cards, and watching totally fantastic 90's cartoon has probably thought "How cool would it be to have Wolverine's powers?" And yes, it would be cool. The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized maybe not so much.THE GOOD...
Adamantium claws. Bad ass. No homeless drunkard or stupid teen is gonna mess with you when you whip a set of these bad boys out. Guy hitting on your girlfriend? Well not anymore when you humiliate him in front of his cronies by gouging his eyes out and feeding him his own testicles. Your overworked and under paid secretary giving you lip? Show the guy you mean business by feeding him only one of his testicles.
THE BAD...
A heightened sense of smell. Effective for smelling bad guys...though I am not sure if bad people naturally give off an "evil" pheromone. Imagine having an extremely heightened sense of smell. Smelling someone's farts isn't going to be a minor inconvenience in this situation. It's gonna be as if some dude launched a fart grenade straight into your nasal passages. Walking pass an open sewer. Well the guy might as well have taken a dump in your nose given how sensitive you sense of smell is.
THE UGLY...
Regeneration is awesome, but not as awesome when you end up living longer than most Galapagos Tortoises. Now you know people are gonna realize something shady is going on when you show up to your 50th wedding anniversary looking younger than your own grand children. Plus there's having to pretend to croak every 60 or so years so that people don't get suspicious. Then there's the trouble of creating a new identity. And what if scientists get a whiff of your bowels' ability to produce a veritable fountain of youth? Well then you better get used to spending the rest of your life being probed, examined, and dissected. But hey don't worry. At least you're able to live forever, right?
1 comment:
I remember reading a comic where wolverine was caught in a bomb blast and all of him was destroyed except for a single atom, from which he was able to regenerate the rest of his body. Now that's impressive!
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