STAR FOX APPROACHING

No. Not that Star Fox. I am talking about the little known Marvel super "hero" known as Star Fox, aka. Eros. Well, "what is the big deal with this dude?" you may ask. Well only that his main super power is the ability to stimulate the pleasure centers of an individual's mind. I don't know about you, but I don't see how this "power" helps save the universe from certain evil-doers bent on total domination.

STARFOX, MEET MY GIRLFRIEND...

This is someone I definitely would not feel comfortable introducing to my girlfriend, sister, or even mother. He's not like the "playa" best friend who you have to worry about as being potential competition. No, this guy takes it to the next level. It's like leaving a bear with a jar of honey, and if Winnie the Pooh has taught us anything, it's that bears slaughter honey.

ROOFIES? IF ANYTHING THEY SHOULD BE CALLED RAPIES

Clearly I don't have to spell it out for you. Your imagination is doing all the work. Now, it makes me wonder what the hell the writer of this character was thinking. Clearly the dude was a nerd of the highest order and constantly dreamed of being a cross between Johnny Depp and Colin Farrel ( which in scientific terms is dubbed "The Ultimate Cock Block"). With the imagination of a horny 13-year-old kid, Star Fox's writer definitely went all out in making a totally creepy character destined to be featured on "To Catch A Predator".

WHAT'S MY JOB DESCRIPTION

So besides being a natural born creep, what the hell is this super "hero" capable of doing? You think this guy can hang with the likes of Superman or Batman? I'm pretty sure Wonder Woman wouldn't want to have anything to do with him. I mean this was a character who was even put on trial for sexual assault in his own comic book! Who comes up with this stuff?