Who doesn't love a good Disney movie. The Lion King, Aladdin, Pocahontas, Beauty and The Beast...all excellent films. Of course, Disney has yet to return to their former glory, but still, the classics are still great no matter what age you are. Recently I have been thinking, or reminded, about how cool it would be if real life was just like a Disney movie. Well, after actually taking time to think about it, I realized three important things.WHAT'S FOR DINNER?
So you know that knack Disney has for making everything non-human, inanimate or not, come to life? Can you imagine the stress of making yourself a simple home cooked meal? The pleas for mercy, the sadness, the horror. You shouldn't have to feel like a genocidal war criminal when making yourself a home grown salad. Even worse...can you imagine taking a dump and having your toilet spring to life?
DATE NIGHT
How will I ever get a girlfriend when everyone other dude on the planet is an actual Prince Charming. It's a total buzz kill for us normal guys. If you thought dating was hard for you now...well it's about to get infinitely harder. And if you think looks don't matter in a Disney world, think about this. Not even Quasimodo got the girl at the end of The Hunchback of Notre Dame..AND HE WAS THE HERO!
KARMA CHAMELEON
Good guys get to be king. Bad guys get tricked into being a genie. Everyone else...well, you're just scenery or the goofy sidekick or guy #3 or maybe even the the heroine's best friend who never gets to find her Prince Charming and has to live out the rest of her miserable existence as a sad old spinster pretending to be happy for your friend when in reality you just want to beat her to death with her own glass slipper. So if you're hoping to make something of yourself, you better make sure the fairy godmother blessed you with a heart of gold..otherwise, you're screwed.
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