THIS WAS FUN..WELL SEE YA

So today, like any day really, I was thinking. Specifically I was thinking of the awkward dates I've been on and what exactly happened to make me feel very...uncomfortable. Now I know first dates, can easily be awkward, and to be fair to the other person, you've got to give it a couple dates before everyone is really able to be themselves. So since this is my blog, I'll just say that I am always awesome on dates and any awkwardness is a result of the awkward person I asked out on a date. I don't know about anyone else, but the following three really kill any buzz I may have going into a date. So in case there are any fine ladies looking to date the hot and eligible creator of Phlogger, you may want to take some notes.

EYE CONTACT

Eye contact is great. It let's the person talking know you're paying attention. It shows you're interested. Whether or not you actually are is a different story, but at least it appears that way. However too much and you come across as someone who is trying to make love with my eye balls. I want you to pay attention to me. Yes. But what I don't want is you peering into my soul and attempting to impregnate me with your hypnotic gaze.

PSYCHO ANALYSIS

If I want to understand what pain and heartache lies deep within by psyche, I'll just...well let's face it.. I'll just bury that deep down next to the day I confessed my love to Jenny Slade in 4th grade and the day I pissed my pants in front of her, which incidentally took place immediately after I confessed my love for her. What I don't want, is to be psycho analyzed on a first date. If I want psycho analysis, I'll eat a fortune cookie.

SHARING IS CARING

We just met. We're just one step above strangers. SO WHY THE HELL DON'T YOU GET YOUR OWN CHICKEN ALFREDO? Do I really need to say it? Sharing food on a date is pretty much rounding second base. You don't do it with just anyone. If I go on a dinner date, or any date that involves the consumption of food or drink, I expect to get my fill. The food is part of the date. I didn't just come just to have a conversation. I came for the WHOLE experience. If we're on a first date and you eat 1/3 of my pasta, that's pretty much a violation of my personal space. The only day I'll let that happen is the the day I finally cave in and say "I do".