I'M WALKING IN THE AIRRRR

So as a youngster, I always loved the book and movie "The Snowman". Absolutely one of the best things out there. There was never any dialogue, but the pictures where pretty amazing and the story while simple, is definitely worth a go. The movie takes it a step further with all the cool music. So this is my version of that awesome story.

COME AGAIN. YOUR NAME IS WHAT?

Names. Everyone has them. Some are cool, so are whatever, and some just make you wonder if people know the difference between a "name" and a "word". Now in all fairness, most people don't choose their names. Their parents do, and unfortunately in most cases it's the offspring of hippies that usually pay the price for this. However, sometimes people decide what they want to be called, and in those situations, it makes you wonder...do they really understand what they're doing or is a demon secretly possessing them and making them the laughing stock of the community by forcing them to pick a name like...

ENGELBERT HUMPERDINCK

Now if you're thinking of the famous 20th century German opera composer, you may be a little confused. I am talking about a one Arnold George Dorsey who CHOSE to change his name to the unfortunate Engelbert Humperdinck in an effort to launch his music career and become a sex bomb. I don't know about you, but choosing a name that conjures up images of wedgies, pre-pubescent awkwardness, and an all around aura of loser-ness doesn't exactly scream JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE of the '50's easy listening world, but then again...this guy actually was famous, so what the hell do I know.

BRUCE COCKBURN

Now here's a man who managed to rise above his very unfortunate birth name. While seemingly being destined to contract gonorrhea, this man actually managed to carve quite a successful career as a rock/folk guitarist. Now, whether or not groupies actively try to get on board and ride the "Cockburn" is another story entirely.

PILOT INSPEKTOR

Don't believe this is a real name? Well it is. This is what actor Jason Lee chose to name his son. Why? Because the name "Pilot" comes up in one of Lee's favorite songs by the band Granddaddy. Then why Inspektor? Who the hell knows. I have a sad feeling this kid is gonna grow up thinking those Female Body Inspector shirts is actually gonna help him get laid.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE...HU-MON?

Well it looks like I have been slacking even more now. I can't even keep up with my commitment to update this thing three times a week. The imagination sectors of my brain are a little dry and the mushrooms haven't been helping, so I don't know what to do. Oh well, I guess it comes when it comes. AND TODAY IT CAME! I was just thinking about these little things which annoy me in conversation. They're not really a big deal, but if it happens enough, it can be quite the bother.

WAIT, I JUST SAID THAT

Don't you hate it when you make a valid point or say something that is really cool/funny/awesome, but you just said it to a couple friends, then that friend repeats what you just said only at 100 decibels and then everyone else thinks HE'S the genius? This should be a crime against humanity. On par with the murder of Bambi's mother and the continual refusal to let the silly rabbit have some Trix. JUST GIVE THE DAMN RABBIT SOME TRIX ALREADY! He's been waiting to eat the stuff for the past 20 years now.

SO IT'S A TV SHOW, BUT IT HAS SLOTHS. HAVE YOU HEARD OF THIS SHOW? IT'S A TV SHOW, BUT IT HAS SLOTHS...

Okay, so not every one remembers stuff. That's cool. I forget stuff, too. It's not like there's a stenographer recording every conversation you've ever had with your friends and your friends go home and study the notes so as not to repeat themselves in the future. BUT....when your friends ask you if you've seen this show called FIREFLY and proceed to give you the synopsis and talk about how they made a movie called SERENITY based on the show FIREFLY for the tenth time over a period of the FOUR times we hung out (I hope this guy knows I'm talking about him right now), it can wear a little thin. On the outside I am politely saying, "Oh really? How intriguing." On the inside, I am quickly ripping my eyeballs out and stuffing them into my ears while slowly swallowing my tongue and cursing Athena for abandoning me during this time of suffering.

HMMM, I DON'T REMEMBER THIS, SO IT NEVER HAPPENED

...the worst of the casual hang out sins in my opinion. It seems like a very convenient way to wiggle your way out of something. After all, if you don't remember, you're not at fault right? WRONG. This just adds more fuel to my stenographer idea, so you better flex those memory muscles if you're gonna hang out with me. Saying you don't remember is just your way of committing the perfect crime. Keeping the Mario Kart 64 game I loaned you for the summer which you just so happened to "forget" about. Now it's six years later and I'm still pissed.