So for those of you who have ever stepped into a gym, you may already know this. For others, this is something to be aware of should you find yourself stepping into one for the first time. If you're like me and you want to get in and out without wasting any of your precious time, then you're gonna need a plan to avoid the douchey dudes who enjoy saying they workout in the gym because they think girls find this impressive but don't really do anything in terms of actually working out (by the way, girls, DO YOU find this impressive? If so, wanna touch my tree trunk neck?). "Why on earth would he be making a big deal about this?" you may be asking. Well it's simple. These guys are take up precious space in what is already a rather small gym area, they loiter and waste MY time, and they are pretty douchey ( In case you're wondering how I determine this, it is a thorough and complete analysis based entirely on an individual's looks. That's how I roll). So...how do you spot these annoying little critters.....well I am glad you asked.
1. It could be the dead of winter with a 60 mile per hour wind, snow storm, and a plague of locusts, but they'll still show up with as little clothing around the upper body area as possible. The ultimate of this look is when you see an individual sporting a perfectly good t-shirt where he not only cut the sleeves, but pretty much almost all the material around the chest and back, except for the collar of the shirt and tiny slivers of material hanging down from the front and back. At this point it's no longer a shirt but a scarf 1 meter long and 5cm wide fashionably draped around the torso. Why even bother wearing a shirt if you've thrown away all the stuff that actually made it a t-shirt in the first place.
2. These guys constantly stare at themselves in the mirror and touch their chest and biceps in hopes that their muscles will become bigger and more ripped before their very eyes. I've seen plenty of these kinds of guys spend 7/8's of their workout visualizing themselves having the ultimate body. I don't know exactly where sports science is today, but I'm pretty sure positive thinking and imagination doesn't count as a workout. It's pretty much just mental masturbation in full on action. I've wasted plenty of time watching these guys get off on watching themselves in the mirror.
3. They hover in groups. These guys don't travel solo....they travel in douche packs. You will never see one guy doing the above solo. If you do, it's a trap. His compatriots are most likely hiding behind the corner occupying more space in front of a mirror and wearing even flimsier and more useless t-shirt shreds.
So yeah...BE WARNED.
1 comment:
dude, i totally agree with your analysis. many a times they have taken up my space as they oogle at themsevles. its pretty ridiculous. i wish i could pack a punch like rambo and just aim for their face. maybe then they won't go to the gym.
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